As my trip to México approached, I began to worry about how quickly it would go by and that the time would just pass without a purpose or a goal or an outcome.
Somehow I formulated this statement in my mind and was desperately looking for answers. I just needed to find the answers and fill in the blanks.
When I get back from Mexico, this is the person I want to have become:
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What steps need to happen for me to become that person?
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Perhaps I could become:
- Someone that reads the Bible every day with purpose.
- Someone that has build a great relationship with 10 new people and this is how I’ll do it...
- Someone that could play the guitar much better.
- Someone that is now fluent in Spanish.
In the weeks before my trip I asked several trusted friends, advisers and my pastors this question:
“If you were going on a sabbatical for a month, what would you do?”. I was looking for purpose and specific tasks to do to prevent the possibility of wasting my time.
Let me just create a checklist and become that person
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Many years ago, I received some excellent advice that said, there are 3 types of friends to have in this world and you ought to have all three:
- Side by side friends (these are similar to you and are equals).
- Friends that are mentors (they are a little farther along in life and can be a trusted advisor).
- Friends that you can mentor (these are slightly behind you in life experiences and you can provide some insight to them because you’ve already traveled that path).
I am very fortunate to have all three types in my life
When I asked one of my “further along in life” mentors, he said to not have a plan, pray everyday and ask God to lay things on my heart for that day and just see what God brings.
Don’t plan, don’t scheme, don’t push for something, just “be”??? What kind of advice is that?
Ugh, that’s the worst advice you could ever give a checklist type of planner guy like me!!! Seriously???
I have 292 days in a row on my elliptical without missing a single day! I know how to plan and execute!
This is the "Streaks" app where I checkoff the things I've committed to do daily
I even have an app to track my obsessive behaviors! You want me to “be”, well this is who I'll “be”... I'll "be" motivated! I can't stop now! I need purpose!
Of course I continued to ask my trusted friends the same question and received all types of suggestions (mostly around finding a new wife while in México).
Eventually I did embraced my mentors advice and have accepted that I will, that I must, open up to what God lays on my heart and just “be”.
This is unfamiliar territory for me. The religion of my youth told me that I should constantly strive to be better. Perfection was the goal. The only way to perfection is to learn from your shortcomings and to do better the next time. Don’t “coast” in life, you CAN be better (you’re not good enough the way you are). After all isn’t the purpose for life to learn and grow and be better?, they would say. The message that I was taught was: Work, work, work, put your shoulder to the wheel and push along.
The Christian concepts of “you can’t do good”, “you’re a sinner to the core”, “the law is there to show you your need for a savior, not for you to become your own savior “ these were all things I had to learn and are still working to embrace.
I’m very grateful to have mentors in my life that can help me understand tough topics like this and to embrace them.
For the next month, I will pray daily and see what the Lord lays on my heart.
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Have you had mentors in your life that have helped you along your path?
How have you been able to just “be”? Is that a temporary state or can you live in that place?
(Look at me, I can’t even get to the end of this post without trying to ask you a question and learn something from it, haha)
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