Recap of spending the month of February 2020 at the orphanage in Mexico

For 15 years I had wanted to take the month of February off. Really for selfish reasons like, it’s cold in Utah so I wanted some warm weather and business is slow that month so I can afford to take that much time off.

For the last 8 years I’ve visited and played with kids as well as worked in an orphanage in Colima, Mexico. You wouldn’t believe how much love these kids and workers have there. How can someone that has gone through that much pain, be happy and full of love?

For the last several years my dream changed to “I want to spend time at the orphanage for a month”.

2019 was one of the hardest years in my life and I decided I needed a sabbatical. I just needed some time away from my life and my struggles. I needed to not think of the past and not worry about the future. I just needed to “be”. I needed to focus on the here and now, to focus on just today.

Well, as it worked out, all of those dreams came together and for the past month, I have been living at the orphanage in Mexico. This was a dream that I didn’t think was possible.

As a side note, where do dreams come from? Does God place them in your heart years, even decades before to draw you that direction?

Or is it more like what is stated in the book The Alchemist “When you have a dream, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it”.

I believe it is both.

——

While I was there I was able to just “be” which is good for the soul.

I was able to meet several important people that taught me some very important things:

Stephan (Leader & Parent of Boys Home): He told me “I don’t want to assign you work. Just do the work that you see that needs to be done here. Because when you choose what needs to be done, it will be done correctly because you care about it.”

Pablo (Pastor and Maintenance): He told me "I like how Lupe (the maintenance man) works. He likes to do the work perfectly." When Pablo said this about others, it also made me want to do the work well.

Brenda (Adult helper): Always smiles and laughs. When you’re around people that are like that, you can’t help but to be more like that. (I know the opposite to be true, but never experienced it here).

Lupe (Teenage Girls House Parent w/ his wife & Maintenance): He didn’t tell me how to do a job when I worked with him. He simply does it and allowed me to follow if I chose. He’s a man of little words (it’s ok to speak less).

Gabriel (Adult helper): His favorite word to me was “espera” (wait). When he didn’t understand me, he would pull out his phone and translate what we were saying. He has a desire to understand, not just to get through the conversation. He also became a good friend there. Friendship requires time, invest the time in friends.

Michigan Group (14 people): Most have come for 20 years. They give of their time, vacation and finances to come and make the orphanage a better place by performing improvement projects and maintenance. They are standing next to the new wall that they were building to keep the river from flooding the property again. They reminded me that you should go where you are called to go.

Lety (Adult helper): Massages are her passion, I was happy to have her give me two while I was there. She mainly works at Casa Cuna (the orphanage next door that takes care of 0-5 year olds).

Abdiel (15 yr old mentally handicapped boy): He taught me compassion, a forceful embrace and when he smiled, you can’t help but to smile back. (unfortunately I don't have a picture of him)

Iguana: There are scary dragons that live in the same area that we do, but if you leave them alone, they will leave you alone.

Raymond (Repairs and Music): He came from California and has been here 3 years as a missionary. Everywhere he goes he has Christian music playing. Music makes life better, we all need more music in our lives.

Psychology Students (from a university): They came a few times while I was there to help the kids with issues. We all have issues and can use professionals (or at least good friends) to discuss what life throws at us.

This was one of our cooks. Who couldn’t use a good cook? When we have hunger, there are people that will fill our need. On a side note, be careful what you hunger for, there will always be someone or something that will fill that need.

Victor (6 or 7 years old): He is always in trouble. You wouldn't think that he would be, he's the cutest kid. When he sings worship songs his eyes slightly close and he raises his arms and you just know that he feels it with every part of his body. So why is he always in trouble? I'm not sure. But my guess is that he is like Paul (the apostle that wrote over 25% of the New Testament). Paul said "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15NIV. Even an apostle of God had a hard time doing the things that he knew he should do in this world.

Children: Reminded me to hug more (they do it at almost all interactions). They helped me learn Spanish and reminded me that when you can communicate, you can go deeper in your relationships. They also taught me the universal language. The language that God and all humanity speaks. The language of love. Here they are praying over me and my safe return.

God (creator of all things): Asked me a question that I didn’t want to hear. “What would happen if you moved to Mexico and served in the orphanage”?

For weeks, multiple times a day, God’s question would come into my head. Each time I would literally tear up (as I write this now, it’s difficult to hold back the overcoming emotion that causes a humble face and tears of fear and submission). Doing that would feel like giving up my life and starting a completely new one. How could I see my family? What about my friends? And my church family that I love? How would I financially be able to do this? And my job? My job is “who I am”!

For decades I’ve loved my job. In fact when I would talk about it to people, I would always say “I have the best job in the universe!”. One day I told Pablo (Pastor & does maintenance at the orphanage) this. He said that I was wrong and with passion and a smile said that he had the best job!

It was the first time in over 15 years I had to stop and question if he or I had the better job.

As I fly back to the USA and reflect on God’s question “What would happen if you moved to Mexico and served in the orphanage?”, I must ask myself, is this a direction that God wishes for me? Or is this a situation like when God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? Obviously not that drastic, but is it a question of faith in Him? God taught me that I’m having a hard time releasing my selfish desires for what He may want for my life and putting Him before anything else. 

My personal beliefs is that there isn’t a specific direction God wants for your life. There are no “right” or “wrong” decisions. Regardless of your path in life God desires great things for you and will bless you regardless of your decisions (good or bad). 

I do believe that there are exceptions to this and that there are specific things that He calls specific people to do, but most of the time it is His desire that you align your life with His desires.

All that just to say that I don’t think God’s question was to help me find the “right path”. It has helped me understand my selfish desires. 

I don’t know where my future leads, but one thing I know for sure is that God desires good things for me and He will always provide them.

——

Some of us live in a very small world, we go to work, we go to church, we go home and then we repeat. Occasionally we will go on vacation. This trip really got me out of my world and showed me things that I have never seen before.  Instead of going on vacation to do something, I went to just see the world around me. To just “be”. 

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Previously I was introduced to a concept that each of us should have a “word for the year”. Last year my word was “healing”. This year my word is “relationship”. As 2020 progresses and I’m faced with choices and decisions, I will purposefully pause and reflect on my word for the year ”relationship” before choosing a path. This trip reinforced that.

Brenda Sonrisa

Brenda is one of those people that is a joy to be around. I have nicknamed her “Brenda Sonrisa” (Brenda Smile) because she is always smiling.

She is one of those people that has purposefully made a decision to be happy with where she is and her situation. 

She is 22 and has been here 11years. 

She has jobs that she performs at the orphanage like cooking, cleaning, helping the girls get dressed and ready for school, helping with homework, doing laundry, as well as sorting the donated food at times. 

Often the donated fruit and vegetables are going bad or have gone bad and need to be used right away. How would it be to have random different food show up daily? You don’t know what will show up and often it must be used right away. That would be a difficult task for any cook, I would think. In America we would make a TV show with a challenge for aspiring cooks with random ingredients (wait, I think we actually have that!).

Brenda brings more than a smile to the faces of the people around her, she brings joy. 

As we ride in the back of the pickup truck (down the road next to the police, which isn’t a big deal), you can get a sense of Brenda’s smile and attitude toward life. She is the one in the purple hoody and short hair. 

They are trying to get me to say a tongue twister (similar to: “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck

if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” or “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”). 

Who do you know that brings joy to everyone around them?

Why are we not more like Brenda Sonrisa?

Is that a choice or is it just who she is inside?

I think it’s a choice. I think she made a choice long ago and it exudes from every part of her. 

Because I know her, I believe that it is her love of Christ that has brought this out in her. 

I propose that we (you and I) have “Brenda Sonrisa Day” tomorrow and smile all day, no matter what. 

Even though hers is genuine and ours may be forced, I still feel that there is value in it. When you are around someone that smiles all of the time, you can’t help but to smile back. Which in turn causes them to smile more, which in turn causes you to smile more. 

Remember the giggles you and a friend use to get as a child when you would go on and on giggling and laughing and laughing over a silly thing (or nothing at all)? That is still alive and well here in Mexico especially with Brenda. 

I think we were made to be in community with others and we are better when we share a smile together. 

Brenda sonrisa is my friend, she makes me smile. 

——
PS Oswaldo (that was injured the other day) is doing better. He is still limping, so they asked me to do some repairs to the old wheel chair.

The Alchemist, A Hospital Visit and My Trip is Half Over

I’ve been at the orphanage in Mexico for 2 weeks now. My trip is half over. 

I read a fiction book for the first time in decades. That is something I don’t think most of society does anymore. I’ve always enjoyed stories that take you out of your world and into a place your worries don’t exist. However for some reason I don’t have time to do it. Probably because I volunteer so much, oh wait, that is also why I volunteer so much!

The book was The Alchemist. Here are my big take aways:

- When you have a dream, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it.
- You must always know what it is that you want. 

- Signs and omens should not be ignored. Or soon you will be unable to see them and they will no longer appear. 

- We typically see the world as we would like it to be and not the way it actually is. 

- Everything that has happened in your life will help you on every future event in your life. You will know how to read situations and are closer to becoming one with the universe. So you must pay attention to your experiences. 

- God speaks through all creation, you need only to pay attention and listen. 

- When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. 

- Every dream ignored becomes a curse. If we have a dream and we don’t go after it, it haunts our future thoughts of what could have been. It makes our current situation something that has held us back. Our current situation can’t be something good (no matter how good it actually is). You must go after your dreams. 

- When you don’t live in the past or the future you can concentrate on the present. This will make you a happy person. 

——

As far as I can tell, Oswaldo twisted his ankle while playing Dodge Ball last night. I was able to drive them to the hospital and hang out in the emergency room for a while. The ER is pretty much the same here. It is a bunch of hurting sick people and their loved ones helping them get from location to location in a place that is doing their best to care for whatever gets thrown at them that night. 

About the only difference is that their prices are posted

Can you believe an ambulance ride is only $100, I’m temped to get one just for the experience. 

——

Random thought I must look good in my glasses. Just look how cute these kids look in them: 

——

As I reflect on what I’ve done these last two weeks at the orphanage, I can’t help but to think of what I haven’t done:

- I haven’t had the internal drive (call it obsession) to workout every day. 

- I haven’t had my customers (or others) díctate moment by moment what my next worry was. 

- I haven’t had meetings to attend or prepare for. 

- I haven’t “had” to wake up each morning. I was excited to wake up each and every day.
- I haven’t had the snow or cold of winter dictate what I must wear or how much earlier I must leave due to traffic. 

I haven’t had to do “something” (this is my internal drive that won’t let me be still, I am always moving, it’s my blessing and my curse).

I have been able to just sit on a bench and talk or do nothing. 

I know that I can’t actually live this way, there are things that must be done in the course of daily life.  But for the last two weeks, I’ve had the perfect sabbatical.

Just rest. 

Why I’m the one in poverty and why you may be also

What do you think of when I say the word “poverty”?

People that wear these types of clothes?

These are my work clothes that I wore for 3 days while roofing

Think of the word “poverty” for a moment...

Who is in poverty?
Where do they live?
What do they wear?
What do they eat?
Where do they sleep?
Who are their friends?


Now let me challenge you to watch this video and you will find out why I think of myself when the word “poverty” is spoken.

Perhaps you will think of yourself by the end.

2019 Mexico Orphanage recap video

Yup, I’m working my knees off & 2019 Videos of past trip to Mexico Orphanage

There’s a lot going here. First off, I’ve discovered that Doritos are thicker in Mexico and they should always have Valentina sauce added to them (like every dish should). Additionally, I can’t crawl around on my knees for two days and not tear the skin off my them. However the Valentina Sauce is actually the cure for the pain (it tastes so good, that I forget about the pain). The blister on my hand doesn’t show in the picture, but it was well earned. 

Where I am and why I’m here:

I began visiting Hogar de Amor Orphanage in Colima Mexico in 2013. Each April I’ve returned for one to two weeks. 5 times I’ve come with my boy (Devin) and twice with grandsons Danny (Melissa’s boy) and Oliver (Katie’s boy). This year I’m super excited that my granddaughter Shelby (Marina’s stepdaughter) will be joining me.

I made a purposeful decision to bring children/grandchildren with me because this place is so different from where I live. Here it is all about relationships and being with others. You say hello to everyone when you enter a room and goodbye when you leave. You get to see what others don’t have and why they are ok with it.

You get to see the real world. 

And of course you get to see some amazing kids that show the pure love of God. 

Their kids come from all types of backgrounds. They are in an orphanage for the same reasons kids might be in the US (drugs, alcohol, all kinds of abuse), additionally they may be here because the family just can’t afford to feed them. 

Once the kids are here (as many as 150 kids in 13 different homes) they are fed, clothed, required to do chores, attend church and attend school. They sing every morning and have a group devotional where the Bible is taught. The orphanage also runs a school that is well established and people in the community pay to have their kids attend it as well. It’s a huge blessing and opportunity for these kids. 

Occasionally the parents will try to come and pickup these kids as they become older (because they can now work and provide for the family). The kids are highly discouraged from abandoning their education and leaving. The girls are warned that if they leave, it would be common for them to become pregnant and have their kids placed right back here at the orphanage. 

Often times orphanages will just release kids at 18. This group will actually pay for their college education and they can live at the orphanage while they perform their studies.

Here are some of the reasons I keep coming back:

- The kids are the most lovable kids I’ve ever known

- Everyone I meet here is beyond nice

- This is not tourist Mexico, prices don’t get changed because I’m white

- The weather is fantastic (60-90° this month)

- I could eat tacos every day (but they don’t here)

- When I mispronounce a spanish word, every single person helps me correct it (with love), as opposed to where I live (when a Mexican mispronounces a word or doesn't understand, many people judge them and say “You’re in America, learn the language!”). Compassion seems to be missing with some people in the USA. 

-I could go on for hours, I’m sure...

Several years ago I began a support group that prays for my annual trip and some of them also provide financial gifts that I bring for supplies that get purchased while in Mexico and some of the money gets left here to bless the administration (they use it as they see fit). 

It was actually very difficult for me to start asking for money and prayers from my friends and family. However I’m passionate enough about what the orphanage is doing that I’ve pressed myself to get beyond my pride and to ask. My rule is if I’ve asked you twice and you haven’t responded by saying you will pray, want updates or donate to the cause, then I drop you from the list because I don’t want to guilt you into anything. If you aren’t on the list, then drop me a note at DanoSLC@gmail.com (with your email address) and let me know of your interest and I’ll get you added. You can also send a letter to Dan Matheney, PO Box 970296, Orem, UT 84097

An additional thing I found by having a support team was that I would email them every day with what was going on. This did a couple of things. It helped them understand what to pray for and it forced me throughout each day to look and see what God was doing and purposefully take note of it and report back to my support team. 

If you want to know more about my trip last year, here is my YouTube playlist that I sent to my support team last year. There is a description on each video that tells more about it. 

Thank you for your prayers while I’m away. 

Dan

2019 Support Team Daily Videos of Orphanage Trip

An Angel, a volcano and turnips grow on trees here

This is my friend Angel. He turned 12 the other day. Here at the orphanage, with 30 kids in just this house, there are several birthdays each month. 

With him being one of the older kids here, he gets a little more freedom than the others because he is responsible.

Because the roof was leaking, we were adding sheets of tar to it. Angel was able to come on the roof with us where others wouldn’t have been allowed. 

Angel loves to help. I remember when my boy was young and wanted to just hangout with his dad. It’s among the most cherished memories of my life. Angel worked with me as I added lights to the school bus and I relived some of those times of having a boy, eager to help.

As I get older, I’m also understanding the importance that grandparents can play in their grandchildren’s lives. 

Angel taught me things too. Did you know turnips grow on trees here?

 Angel collecting me some Gualmuchil

Guamuchil tastes like turnips to me

Angel is my friend.  

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The other day a member of the orphanage’s church decided to throw a party for the kids at this home. 

 This video shows the slab of beef cooking “Trompo de carne al pastor” and the end of musical chairs. This was a fun time for the kids. 

Isn’t it great when people see a way to help others and take their time and resources to do it?

Click on picture to watch the church member thrown party

——

Everyone is made differently. In the book The 5 Love Languages, it explores what the different love languages are and why when you are in your sweet spot you can do things for hours, days and even weeks without tiring. 

One of my major goals in life is to “Do more of what I love and less of what I don’t”.

This month... I am winning!

——

A few other random things:

It rained the first few days I was here which turned the streets into rivers. This is not normal for February, they blamed me for bringing this. 

Click to see the flood

There are two volcanos here. One that is active and one that is dormant. The dormant one had snow on it. 

This is a beautiful place. 

Drugs, gangs and why I’m in danger here

For many years my new friend Gabriel was involved with drugs and gangs. He was living a life of pain as you can imagine. 

Drawing on the wall inside “Sólo para Valientes”

Gabriel is now older and has been sober for a handful of years. He has been married to his wife for over a decade now. I can only imagine the difficulty a marriage must have been with so much chaos in their lives.

“Grupo Amor” is the name of the church that runs the orphanage where I am living and working at for the month of February. They consider it their mission. Additionally the church supports “Sólo para Valientes” (Only for the Braves) which is a recovery home where 16 men are housed. They live there as they go through the recovery program and learn about Jesus. 

Gabriel was there several years ago. 

We visited the Recovery House

Gabriel in front of recovery house, he has been a Christian for several years now

Gabriel said “I am a testament as to what God can do”. “He kept me alive so that I can tell others of the saving power of Jesus.”

The best things about Gabriel is that he is always smiling and if I ask him a question that he doesn’t understand, he doesn’t just blow me off or shake his head (like I tend to do). Every time, he says “wait”, he finds his phone and pulls up google translate and encourages me to write my question. 

Because communication here is much more difficult for me, being purposeful with my words is more important. If someone is going to take their time to stop what they are doing and encourage me to type on their phone for the translation, I think what I am saying should be important. However for me “time” is the thing I’m valuing here. For Gabriel and for the other people here “relationship “ is the most important thing in this situation (well, really in all situations). 

He and his wife do many things at the orphanage to help. For working 15 days, he is paid what a teenager at Burger King would make in the US for a half of a days work.

They currently have a 12 year old boy Josué. He is a handsome young man that helps around the orphanage with the younger kids.  He saved for 7 months to buy this guitar. It was $700 pesos ($38). 

Gabriel says his life is very different now and he is excited that his wife Isabel is now 4 months pregnant. 

Isabel, Josué (Joshua), Gabriel 

They are my friends. 

——

Today Gabriel and I visited 2 tortillas shops that give the orphanage free tortillas every day!

We also visited a fruit and vegetable store where they give us items twice a week. 

How great is it that the local stores provide extra for the orphans?

——

Currently I am reading through “Dangerous Prayers”. It is a short daily devotional that challenges us to quit praying safe prayers (bless this food, keep me safe) but asks “what if we prayed for God’s will, no matter where it led us?”

I'm reading the @YouVersion plan 'Dangerous Prayers'. Check it out here:

Dangerous Prayers

As I drove around with Gabriel collecting donations, the thought came to me to leave the United States behind and move to Mexico. 

How could that possibly happen before I build my wealth? WHAT!? How could that ever work? God... don’t ask me to do that!

Be careful praying dangerous prayers.

What if there was more for your life than your emotional safety and financial security?

I truly do love this place and the people. 

I feel that I am not safe here from God’s calling. 

But God, I’m not ready for that (as I literally tear up)!

——

Have you ever prayed a Dangerous Prayer?

Are you brave enough to pray one?

Let me know if you would be willing to read “Dangerous Prayers” reading plan or if not, why not. 

Rosemary’s Cumpleaños!

Today was Rosemary’s birthday! They sang happy birthday to her at breakfast. They also had previously taken her out for breakfast alone and given her a small toy. 

After breakfast, she and I were playing outside when her name was called and she proudly announced “mi mama, mi mama el teléfono!” As she ran inside.

I don’t think it’s proper to ask about her situation, so I haven’t. She is here with her 2 sisters Crystal and Esmeralda at this house and she has a 2 year old sister that is in Casa Cuna which is the under 5 year old house next door. I’m guessing there are 15 kids or so in that house. 

Once I asked Rosemary’s sister Crystal (12 years old) “how long have you been here”, she did not answer and one of the young adult leaders let me know that many kids don’t like that question because it reminds them of unhappy thoughts. My guess is 3 years. 

Rosemary has the gifts of an awesome smile, physical touch  (she loves to hold hands) and she loves to kiss (although kissing is not allowed, as far as I can tell). 

She also gives great back massages

These 3 sisters are my friends. 

——

Additionally, we all took a ride to the glass shop to pickup some windows we ordered. This was the way we use to do it in the US, before we got so serious about safety and quit having fun.